Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
i believe in u and ur pee
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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