It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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