So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
