look no pants
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
