Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
