i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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