Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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