Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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