I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
