I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Randomize
