normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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