we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
