He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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