saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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