I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
