They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
