Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
