K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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