i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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