I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
