a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
