think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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