did you get engaged???
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Randomize
