i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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