weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
