dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
