How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
The cops high fived after they tackled you
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
