I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
