I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
