i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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