Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
