Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
