thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Randomize
