just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
So here I am, sexting at work.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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