There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
