doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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