The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
