We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
