im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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