Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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