a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
