i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Randomize
