I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
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