She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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