i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
