that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
