Did you just see the Batmobile???
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
Randomize
