'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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