this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
