i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
