But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
