Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Randomize
