Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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