No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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