Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
