Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize