so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
porn star boner night. come get it.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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